


The Fantasy

by DiddyRyFan



Category: Whose Line Is It Anyway? RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Girlfriends/No Wives, Multi, Original Female Character - Freeform, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-10 11:06:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10436304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiddyRyFan/pseuds/DiddyRyFan
Summary: Ryan tries something new to help Colin try out a fantasy.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This short story is based on a dream I had, that I simply expanded.

Ryan and Colin are enjoying a romantic meal together.

“You've never been with a woman?” Colin says, surprised.

“Colin, we've been together for almost 40 years. When would I have been with a woman?” Asks Ryan.

“Not even before we met?” Presses Colin.

Ryan answers, “You mean you have?”

Colin says, “Yes. Before you I had three girlfriend and a boyfriend. Why do you think I label myself as bi, not gay. So was I your first ever?” Colin asks intrigued.

“No. I had one boyfriend before you.” Ryan says.

Colin then asks, “If you've never even tried with a woman, how do you know for sure you're not bi?”

“Well, I've just never looked at a woman like that before.”

“But since we've been together you've never looked at another man like that either.” Comments Colin.

“What are you trying to get at?” Asks Ryan.

“If I help set it up, would you try it with a woman?”

“Are you seriously asking me to cheat on you?”

“It's not cheating if I help set it up, is it?” Retorts Colin with an exasperated look.

“I don't know if I can.” Answers Ryan, “Why do you want me to?”

“Well,” Replies Colin, “I often fantasized about us having a threesome, and I'd like to try it, but I don't think I could share you with another man. On the other hand I don't want your first experience with a woman to be complicated by your feelings for me.”

“Oh,” Replies Ryan thoughtfully, “Well, when you explain it like that, I suppose I can give it a go, if you can find a willing woman. We're not exactly young and handsome anymore, and I can't promise I'll be able to.”

The next day Colin calls Ryan. “I found a willing woman.” He tells him.

“You have?” Ryan says, surprised he found one so quickly.

“Before you ask, she's NOT a prostitute, she's a fan I met yesterday after the filming. She's agreed to do this and to keep quiet about it, but to be honest if she did tell, who would believe her, everyone knows we’re an item. She'll meet you at her hotel room tonight.” And Colin gives him the details.

“But what if someone sees me at the hotel? We could do without the negative media attention.” Ryan says.

“Fair point.” Replies Colin, “How about this then? I book a room at the hotel too, maybe the room next to hers. That way we can arrive together and leave together, and if anyone sees you at her room you can claim you got the wrong room by mistake.”

“Sounds good.” Replies Ryan.

With all the details worked out, Colin calls the woman back to confirm the plans.

That evening, Colin and Ryan arrive at the hotel together, all suited up. They sign in at reception and get their key. Then they head over to the elevator, relieved to be alone when the doors close again.

“Remember,” Says Colin, “I’m only in the next room, if things don’t go well.”

Ryan nods and smiles nervously.

When the elevator doors open on their floor, they both step out. Ryan takes Colin’s hand and Colin can feel his nerves in his grasp. When they reach Colin’s room, he gives Ryan’s hand a comforting squeeze and kisses him on the cheek before letting go and disappearing into his room.

Ryan walks the short distance to the next room and knocks. After a moment, the door opens, and Ryan finds himself looking at a beautiful woman in her mid 30s, wearing tight jeans and a tighter t-shirt (and it’s obvious she has no bra on). She invites him in and they sit next to each other on her bed. Being in his late 50s, Ryan can’t quite accept that she could like him in that way. He decides to try treating it like a stage scene to start with.

“Do you really like me?” He asks as they sit together.

“Definitely.” She answers in a seductive sort of voice.

“Enough for a kiss?” He adds, leaning in closer.

“Uh huh.” She nods, barely daring to breathe.

“You sure?” He half whispers, leaning so close they are barely an inch apart.

She closes the final distance and touches her lips to his, not daring to touch him anywhere else. Surprised by a passion he doesn’t get with a stage kiss, he encloses her in his arms and returns the kiss. He leans her over so she is lying down, with her knees still bent in a sitting position. He breaks the kiss and gazes at her for a while, still surprised at his body’s reaction.

Then he sits up again and says, “We shouldn’t be doing this. I’m old enough to be your father.”

“They reckon Joseph was old enough to be Mary’s grandfather.” She replies from her lying down position, “Age only matters if you allow it to.”

When he doesn’t respond, she puts her hand on his leg, and caresses his upper thigh. He doesn’t say anything, but takes a deep breath. She starts to rub her hand up and down the inside of his thigh, brushing too far up a couple of times. He closes his eyes and breathes a little deeper as he feels his loins starting to respond. When he puts his hand on hers, she takes hold of it and rests it gently on her breast. He sits there for a while, one hand resting, unmoving, on her breast, with his eyes closed, while she continues to caress his upper thigh. He then opens his eyes, gazes into her eyes and places his other hand on her other breast. She takes a slow deep breath and pushes her chest up, willing him to go on. He smiles and starts caressing her breasts. Her hand moves from his thigh to his crotch and she caresses his bulge as he continues to massage her chest.

As he continues to arouse her, she lifts his hands for a moment, pulls up her t-shirt to reveal her bare, braless chest, then lowers his hands back down, so they can feel what he’s doing, skin on skin. As he continues to caress and massage her breasts, she reaches up and slowly undoes his shirt. He has a smooth chest, free of hair, a slight podge at the belly, but overall she finds him very attractive like this. As she’s gazing at his chest, he leans in and encloses one of her breasts with his warm mouth. She utters a small moan of pleasure and buries her hands in his hair as he flicks and swirls his tongue over her erect nipple. He then kisses her mouth, his tongue seeking permission to enter. She gladly grants it entry, as he gently rests his bare chest to hers, being careful not to lean on her too much. She squirms under him in arousal, lifting her hips to meet his. He moans in surprised pleasure as her pelvic region discovers his erection. That sends them over the edge, away from any caution that had been left in them. She grabs his bottom and squeezes and caresses it, as she grinds herself against his groin.

She rolls sideways until they have reversed positions, him now being underneath. She takes her t-shirt off completely, then proceeds to undo his fly as he watches with obvious lust in his eyes. When his fly is undone, he lifts his bottom up, so she can push his trousers down to his ankles. She then pushes his boxers down too, completely freeing his erect penis, which stands there, looking very alluring. She kisses and licks his length as she removes her jeans and underwear, which are rather wet by now. She then plants kisses up his belly, over his chest and neck before finally kissing him passionately on the mouth again.

As she slides herself onto his erection, they both moan in pleasure. He can’t believe this feels just as good as Colin does, different, but just as good. She sits up and slides herself up and down, exclaiming in pleasure as she does so.

“Oh, fuck.” Moans Ryan as she increases the pace. “I’m not sure how long I can keep this going.” He tells her.

Instead of answering, she throws her head back, arching her back and pushing her chest out, screaming in delight, as her pussy clamps tight, spasming around Ryan’s arousal. This, in turn, causes Ryan to lose control, and he shoots his load inside her.

When she’s finished, shaking, she drops down onto his chest in an exhausted hug.

“Fuck, I didn’t know women could be so,” Ryan pauses, searching for the right word, “So amazing.” He finishes.

“You were pretty amazing yourself, Mr Stiles.” The woman answers.

“Would you mind if Colin joins us? I’d like to share something this good with him, if you’re willing.” Ryan asks.

“Are you kidding?” She answers, “And I thought this couldn’t get any better.”

Then, before he can do more than smile at her reaction, she’s put a bathrobe on and has disappeared out the door. Ryan hears her knock on the door to the next room. He can’t quite make out the words, but he can hear the surprise in Colin’s voice. Then a door closes and the woman comes back in, followed by Colin.

“Wow,” Says Colin in surprise, as he sees Ryan lying on the bed with his trousers and undies round his ankles, “I guess you had fun then.”

“You could say that.” Ryan replies, with a grin. “She was amazing. You’ve converted me, Colin. I’m definitely bisexual, not gay. I thought you might want to join in the fun.”

“Does our lady friend approve?” Colin asks.

“Most definitely.” Replies the woman. “If you’re as talented as he is, I’m in for the night of my life.”

“Hey, are you bi?” Ryan asks her, curious.

“No, I’m definitely straight.” She responds.

“Have you tried other women? Can’t be certain until you have.”

“Oh, I’ve been with two women before. They just didn’t do it for me.” She answers.

“Fair enough.” Ryan responds.

Colin lays on his side next to Ryan facing him. Ryan turns and kisses Colin passionately.

After a while, Colin breaks the kiss and says, “I seem to be overdressed,” Before taking his trousers and underwear off.

Ryan uses this opportunity to remove his shoes and slide his feet free of his own trousers. He then looks back at Colin, sitting there with everything on show.

Ryan turns to the woman and says, “He’s all yours. For now. I’ll be joining in later.”

She sits down on Colin’s other side and presses her lips to his. He seems unsure at first, but soon warms to her. He slides his fingers down to her pubic area and she gasps as he finds her clit and plays with it.

“You’ve had experience with women before.” She states.

“A very long time ago.” He replies, “I’m a bit rusty at the moment.”

She gasps in pleasure and breathes, “Not that rusty. Oh, yeah, like that.”

She lays back and, still playing with her clit, Colin uses his other hand to push two fingers inside her. She moans in delight as he rubs her clit and slides his fingers in and out of her pussy.

“Are you ready for me?” Colin asks, as he removes his hands from her.

She nods in answer, and he gently pushes himself inside her, both of them lying on their sides. Ryan is finding it rather a turn on to watch, his erection growing again, as he watches Colin slide in and out of the woman. It’s not long before she’s squealing with another orgasm. Colin doesn’t let up, though, as he’s not there yet.

Deciding he's watched for long enough, Ryan lies down next to them, facing Colin’s back, and very slowly and gently pushes himself inside his boyfriend. Colin is now sandwiched, the woman impaled on him, and him impaled on Ryan. It takes a while to find the right rhythm, but when they do Colin is in ecstasy. It doesn’t take long before Colin and the woman are both climaxing. She shudders and shakes with the force of her orgasm as Colin empties his load in her pussy. Ryan is not long after, shooting his cum inside Colin. They all lie there a while, still interconnected. Then the woman slides herself off Colin and, excusing herself, goes to use the restroom. Ryan slides out of Colin, and Colin turns around and kisses him passionately. When the woman returns from the bathroom, Colin and Ryan have started getting dressed again.

“Thank you so much for allowing us to try this out.” Colin says to her, “It was better than I could ever have imagined.”

She replies, “Are you kidding? Thank you! That’s a dream come true I never thought I’d see.”

Ryan then says, “Thank you. Both of you. That was amazing, and I wouldn’t mind trying it again some time.”

“Well, you know where to find me.” The woman answers, “I’ll be here until next friday.”

As they leave her room, Colin says to her, “We might just take you up on that.”


	2. Chapter 2

A couple of days later, the woman walks into a very fancy restaurant.

She says nervously, “Table booked in the name of Mochrie?”

“Oh yes,” Says the waiter, “Mr Mochrie phoned ten minutes ago to inform us that he and Mr Stiles are running a little late. He said to make you comfortable and get you any drink you want while you wait.”

He leads her to a table in a secluded corner. Fifteen minutes later, the same waiter shows Colin and Ryan to the table and takes their drinks order.

“Sorry we’re late.” Says Ryan, greeting her with a kiss on the cheek.

Colin greets her the same way, and says, “Car trouble. Mine wouldn't start, so we gave up and took his instead.”

They order their meals when the waiter brings their drinks.

“We enjoyed the other evening,” Comments Colin, “Thought we’d take you up on that offer, if it’s still open.”

“Oh it's definitely still open,” She answers, “You two were amazing. I’ve never had an experience like it before, and I'm eager to go again.”

Ryan laughs and says, “We're just as eager as you are, but we thought we might try it at our place this time, if that's ok?”

Over dinner they talk, finding out about each other.

“We met in Vancouver doing improv.” Says Colin, “We took an instant like to each other, became best of friends.”

“We didn't trust each other enough to tell each other our true feelings for a couple of years, though.” Adds Ryan, “Things were different in those days see, people weren't as tolerant.”

“It wasn't until we were both regulars on Whose Line that we actually moved in together.” Says Colin.

The woman says to Colin, “But you've been with women before. You were so skilled with your hands the other evening.”

“Yes,” Answers Colin, “I had two girlfriends before I admitted to myself that I liked guys too, and then I had a third girlfriend before I was confident enough to go with a guy. You were Ryan's first woman, though.”

“I thought as much with some of his comments.” She says, “So how come?” She asks Ryan.

“Well, I just never found girls that attractive.” He answers honesty, “I knew before I left high school that I liked boys. I've always said I'm gay, not bi, but Colin wanted me to try, so I did, for him.”

“Well, I'm very glad you did.” She states.

“So what about you?” Asks Ryan.

“I grew up in a very stable, very American family. I had boyfriends, some of them decent people, some of them complete idiots. My last boyfriend was about 8 years ago. He was a complete prick. I've not found the right guy since. I started to wonder about my sexuality at one point, so I played around a bit with some women, about 5 years ago. I discovered that I'm definitely straight. I've been on my own ever since.”

When they finish their meal, Colin pays and they all head out to the car. Half an hour later they arrive at Colin and Ryan’s house. They give her a quick tour of the place, before heading upstairs.

When they are sat in the bedroom, Colin says, “I’m a little disappointed. Ryan got to watch us two the other evening, but I didn’t get to watch you and him together.”

“You’d like to?” Asks Ryan.

“Well, yeah. You seemed to really enjoy watching, and I’d like to see if I have as much fun watching as you did.”

“I’m sure we can manage that,” Says the woman.

She leans towards Ryan and kisses his lips. He returns the kiss passionately. He then places one hand on her breast, massaging, and the other between her legs. Unsure quite how to proceed, Ryan opts for simply exploring her lower region, through her underwear. He slowly runs his fingers along the length of her lips, from back to front, palpating gently. When he reaches her clit, he examines it intricately with his forefinger and thumb. When he notices how strong an effect his curiosity is having on her, he lifts her skirt to her waist and pulls her underwear down. He then continues his examination of her clit, noticing and repeating the moves that result in the best reactions from her. After a while, he moves his fingers to her opening and explores her labia. He then, gently pushes his forefinger between her inner lips, stopping just inside. She moans in frustration, and bucks her hips, so he slides it all the way in, marveling at the silky softness of her vagina. Experimentally, Ryan slides his finger in and out a few times, then he adds another finger and has a good feel around inside her. He notices the spots she responds to and pushes against them as he starts moving his fingers in and out again. As Ryan adds a third finger, he increases his pace. It’s not long before she’s squealing in pleasure while spasming and gushing around his fingers.

When she has calmed down a little, the woman stands Ryan up and pulls down his trousers and underwear. She then gets on her knees and licks his cock, from base to tip, swirling her tongue around his head, before closing her lips around just the end. She cups his balls in her hand, as she sucks his dick further into her mouth, until his tip reaches the back of her throat and she swallows around him to avoid the gag reflex. She runs the tip of her tongue over his shaft and around the head as she proceeds to slide him in and out of her mouth, gently playing with his balls at the same time. When she can feel he is close to cumming, she slides him out of her mouth and stands up, kissing his mouth again. While they kiss, Ryan moves them around, and lies the woman down on the bed on her back. While still passionately kissing her mouth, he positions his penis just at the entrance to her pussy, teasing her with his head. she moans in frustration into his mouth and bucks her hips, trying to slide him inside her properly. Ryan then thrusts his whole length inside her in one move. She breaks the kiss and cries out as the pleasure starts to build. He continues to slide almost out and thrust back in, increasing the pace as the pleasure dictates.

Just as the woman starts spasming around him, Ryan feels Colin’s hands on his buttocks. Colin spreads his cheeks, and Ryan feels Colin’s dick push into his butt. Ryan pushes back, burying Colin’s dick deeper, then thrusts forwards burying his own cock back into the woman, marveling at the combined feeling and immense pleasure this is bringing him. It doesn’t take long for him to be completely overwhelmed, and to shoot his load inside the pussy that he’s buried in. Colin continues though, and with their position, Ryan’s cock is still buried in the woman, though no longer rock hard. As Colin gets closer to orgasm, grunting in pleasure in his ear, Ryan finds himself getting hard again, and he starts pumping at the pussy again. She responds immediately, and the three of them moan and groan in unison as they approach climax together. Ryan shouts in ecstasy, shooting his load into the woman, just as Colin shoots his load into Ryan and the woman screams and spasms around him.

“Fuck that was good.” Ryan exclaims.

“It’s great being in the middle, isn’t it?” Says Colin.

The woman just lies there, gazing into Ryan’s eyes, the after effects of her orgasm still plain to see on her face.

When they have all recovered enough, they head down to the kitchen, where Ryan pours them all some wine, while Colin gets some nibbles together. They have to keep their strength up, there’s still a lot of time until morning.


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next few days, the woman, Lisa, meets up with Ryan and Colin numerous times. They occasionally go out for a meal, or visit a landmark together, but spend most of their time together at Colin and Ryan’s house, replaying their first two encounters. Eventually, Friday arrives and Lisa has to go home. She and Colin are already friends on Facebook and Twitter. She gives them a scrap of paper with her address on and they promise to visit her within the next month. She then boards the plane that will take her back to the east coast.

Three weeks later, Colin’s hand is being crushed by Ryan as they board a plane to the east coast. It took a lot of persuasion and a little bribery for Colin to persuade Ryan to travel by air, rather than take a road trip across country, so he doesn’t mind a crushed hand for a few hours. Ryan spends the next five to six hours alternately crushing Colin’s hand, cursing him for bribing him onto a plane and cuddling into him as he shakes in fear.

Eventually they arrive and Ryan can’t exit the plane quick enough. Lisa is waiting for them at the airport and after an emotional greeting, she drives them to her home.

“It’s only an apartment I’m afraid, nothing like your place.” She says as she unlocks her apartment door.

It takes no time for her to show them around the small two bed apartment. Soon they are catching up on gossip, as Lisa cooks supper, having refused their offer of help.

“Work is ok,” Lisa answers Ryan’s enquiry. “A receptionist at a dentist is a really good job for me, but it’s not what I imagined myself doing.”

“So what was your dream job, then?” Asks Colin.

Lisa replies, “Oh, I always wanted to be a small animal vet. You know, dogs and cats, rabbits and hamsters, that sort of thing. I just never had the opportunity to study beyond high school. So what's been happening in show biz then?”

“Colin’s been signed up to star in some commercials. They’re just fine tuning the contract before setting a recording date.” Says Ryan.

Colin adds, “I’m playing a grandpa at a family meal, advertising the gravy.”

“What about you, Ryan?” Lisa asks.

“I’ll be starting an improv tour of the west coast in a month or so. Top to bottom in about a month. It’ll be challenging, a whole month without Colin.”

“I’ll find it just as challenging.” Says Colin.

Supper is served then, and they go sit at Lisa’s small, rarely used dining table.

They continue to chat as they eat. Then as Colin and Ryan clear the table, Lisa brings out a fresh fruit salad she had made ready, and some cream.

As they dig into their desserts, Lisa says, “I’ve got a little news for you both actually.” They both look at her curiously, so she continues, “I’m a week late, with my period. I was on the pill, as I mentioned to you, Colin, when you first proposed the rendezvous, but they do say it’s not 100%. I took a pregnancy test yesterday, just to rule it out. It was positive, I’m pregnant.”

Colin and Ryan are both staring at her open mouthed, with their spoons poised in mid air. Lisa sits quietly, allowing them to process the news in their own time. She wishes one of them would break the silence though.

Eventually, Colin says, “A baby! I never thought. How do feel about it?”

Lisa replies, “I’m excited, but scared to death at the same time.”

“So we’re keeping it?” Asks Ryan, almost hopefully.

“Definitely.” Answers Lisa.

“Right,” Says Colin, “We’ll pay all the medical bills, don’t worry about that. And we’ll be more than happy to be as involved in baby’s life as you wish, so long as we are involved.”

“How do we find out which of us is the biological father?” Asks Ryan.

“I’m not sure.” Answers Lisa. “I have an appointment with my gynecologist next week. You’re both welcome to come along if you want.”

“That would be good, if you honestly don’t mind us being there.” Replies Ryan.

Having got over the initial shock, they continue with their dessert.

A few days later, the three of them are sat in the waiting room, waiting to see the gynecologist. He finally appears and calls Lisa’s name.

When both men stand to follow her, the doctor says, “I’m sorry, I can only allow one in with her.”

Lisa then says, “But I don’t know which of them is the father. They were both present for the conception.”

Slightly surprised, he allows both men in. During the appointment, he confirms the pregnancy, talks them through what to do next, and the various methods of determining paternity. By the end of the appointment, they are all reasonably happy with the info they’ve been given. Colin insists on giving his financial details, rather than her insurance to pay the bill.

The rest of their two week stay is spent having fun, inside Lisa’s home as much as outside. Colin and Ryan find themselves standing in the airport sooner than they’d like. After an emotional goodbye, Ryan is once again crushing Colin’s hand as they step onto the airplane.

Over the next month or so, Colin and Lisa are in almost daily contact via social media. While Ryan is on tour, however, Colin gets a very emotional phone call from Lisa.

“Hello? This is Colin.”

“Colin, it’s Lisa. I’m at the hospital.” And she bursts into tears.

Shocked, Colin asks, “Why, what’s wrong? Are you alright? Is the baby ok?”

After she’s got her tears under control, she answers, “I was bleeding. I thought I was losing the baby. They said it’s still there, I haven’t lost the baby, but it was close. I’ve got to take it easy, rest, not work, or stress out. How can I live if I don’t work? How can I not stress out if I have no job? I don’t know what to do.”

Colin says to her, “Hey, don’t worry. We’ll see you’re alright. I’ll send you some money to keep you going for now. I’ll discuss it with Ryan when he next calls. He’s on tour for another week and a half. We’ll sort something out, don’t worry.”

Later that evening Ryan phones Colin, “Hey sexy.”

“Hey gorgeous. How are things on tour?”

“I'm loving it, just wish you were with me. Any news from home?”

“Yeah. I had a call from Lisa about lunchtime, she was in tears.”

“She hasn't lost the baby, has she?”

“No, but it was a close thing apparently. She's been told to either cut right back on her hours or give up work entirely, or she could really lose the baby next time. She's in a right state. I sent her some money for now, but that's not a long-term solution. I'm not sure what to do or suggest.”

After thinking a while Ryan says, “We could have her with us, if she's willing to move right across the country. Either move in temporarily, until she gets back on her feet after the baby is born, or if she wants, permanently. If you're ok with it of course”

“Yeah. I think it's a brilliant idea. I just wish I thought of it myself. I'll call her up in the morning and see what she thinks.”

“Ok, let me know when I call you tomorrow evening.”

The next day Colin calls Lisa, “Hi, how are you today?”

“A little better than yesterday, thanks to you.”

“I spoke to Ryan on the phone last night. He suggested, and I think it's a brilliant idea, if you're willing to, you could move in with us. I know it'll mean moving right across the country, so I understand if you don't want to, but the offer’s there if you do.”

“You’d do that for me?” Lisa sobs.

“Of course we would. Besides the fact that you are carrying our baby, because we both consider it ours, whichever of us is the biological father, we really feel like we’ve bonded with you, you know, like we’ve known you years rather than months.”

“That’s so kind and generous of you both. I’d love to move in with you, if you’re serious.”

“Of course we’re serious. Do you need me to come over, help you with the practical stuff?”

“That would be wonderful, if Ryan doesn’t mind.”

“Well he’s still on tour, and he doesn’t like flying anyway. When do you want to do this?”

“As soon as possible. I’ll have to give my landlord his month’s notice, but that doesn’t mean I need to actually be in the apartment.”

“Well, I’ll clear it with Ryan when he phones this evening, and try to get an early flight over tomorrow. If you don’t hear from me expect me some time tomorrow evening.”

Colin arrives at Lisa's apartment the next evening. It takes a few days for them both to sort what’s being kept, get rid of what’s not and pack up all of Lisa’s belongings and get them on the road with a removals company. She has packed some of her more essential things to take on the plane, as most of her stuff won’t arrive for about a week.

A week after the tearful phone call from Lisa at the hospital, she is arriving at Colin and Ryan’s house, at her new home. A few days after that, Ryan arrives home from tour. He gives Lisa just as big a hug as he gives Colin. They all quickly settle in to the way things work around the house with three of them there now. Lisa tries to do more than her fair share of housework, as she feels slightly guilty for not contributing to things financially. Ryan and Colin scold her for it most days, telling her she’s supposed to be resting.


	4. Chapter 4

When Lisa woke up, it took her a moment to remember why she was so happy. Then she remembered, they were going for the ultrasound scan today. They were going to find out the gender. She jumped out of bed and got dressed, then went downstairs to find Ryan in the kitchen.

“You're up early.” He remarks.

“Not as early as you, obviously.” She answers. “Once I was awake I was too excited to even consider going back to sleep.”

“Me too.” Ryan says, “Colin was still sleeping like a baby, so I came down to get myself some breakfast. Do you want some pancakes? I made enough batter for all three of us.”

“Oh, yes please. Do we still have some blackcurrant jelly? If so, I'd like some of that with them please.”

“Of course we've got some.” Ryan replies, “We make sure we’re well stocked with it, since you've been having it with everything.”

“Well I just love the taste of it, that's all.”

“More likely it's your pregnancy craving, I mean you even had it with your hot dogs at the weekend!”

“You talking about Lisa's craving for jelly?” Asks Colin, as he stumbles into the kitchen all bleary eyed and still in his pyjamas. “I caught her eating it night before last, straight out of the jar.”

“Ok,” says Lisa, “I guess you're right, it is a craving. Now can I have some please?”

Colin and Ryan laugh, as Ryan passes her the jar of jelly to go with the stack of pancakes he just gave her.

Three hours later and the three of them are on their way to the ultrasound appointment. They park by the clinic and the three of them make their way inside. The receptionist takes their details and tell them to take a seat. Not long after, they get called in. Lisa undoes the top of her trousers and the sonography tucks a protective sheet into the top before squirting a cold jelly like substance onto her belly. She pushes the instrument across the jelly on Lisa’s belly, then fiddles with the machine and pushes the probe all around until she get a decent picture on the screen. Her eyes go wide for a moment.

She looks at Ryan and Colin and asks, “Are one of you the father?”

Lisa answers, “Yes, but we don't know which one yet. They were both present for the conception. Is there a problem with the baby?”

“No, no problem. It's just that you are carrying twins.”

“Twins!” The three of them say together.

“Yes.” Comes the reply. “Fraternal twins. Does it run in your family?” She asks Lisa.

“Not to my knowledge.” She replies, “How did we not know about this before?”

“I'm not sure. It's unusual not to pick up on this in the earlier scans. Are you wanting to know the sex?” She asks.

“Yes please.” Lisa answers.

The sonography prods and pushes her probe around Lisa's belly. She then calls their attention to the screen, “You see this?” She points at the blob on the screen, “I'm pretty sure this one is a boy.” She prods around some more before saying, “And this one’s a girl.”

Through the rest of the appointment she reassures them that both babies are healthy and prints some scan pictures for them. A short while later, they are all stood in the kitchen hugging cups of coffee.

“Twins!” Says Lisa, a little shocked.

“Yeah.” Says Colin, equally shocked.

“She said you're not likely to last the full forty weeks.” Puts in Ryan, “Which means we'll meet them sooner rather than later. I wonder which of us.” He leaves the sentence unfinished.

The remainder of the pregnancy goes without a hitch. At thirty weeks Lisa packs a hospital bag ready. She knows she's likely to last another five weeks or so yet, but wants to be ready just in case.

 

“Are you sure you want to come tonight? You're supposed to be going into labour any day now.” Says Ryan.

“Of course I'm coming.” Answers Lisa, “I wouldn't miss your Halloween party for anything. Besides, if I do go into labour wouldn't you both like to be there, rather than hearing about it over the phone? Assuming you hear the phone at a party.”

“I suppose she's right there.” Comments Colin, “So what are you dressing up as?”

“I thought I'd go as a vampire.” She answers.

“Nice! A heavily pregnant vampire.” Comments Ryan.

A few hours later and the three of them are making their way to The Upfront Theatre, where the party will be held. Colin is dressed up as a mad scientist and Ryan as Frankenstein's monster. They arrive at the theatre and set up the venue, hanging decorations and seeing to the caterers. Within half an hour their first guests are arriving, and it's not long before the place is heaving. There are the celebrities that Colin and Ryan work with, like Drew and Wayne, but there's also those people who learn improv at the theatre, as well as those who keep the theatre, like the improv teachers and the behind-the-scenes people, like accountants and cleaners. Colin and Ryan are very busy for the first hour or so of the party greeting all the guests and introducing Lisa to those she hasn't met yet. When it's time to start awarding prizes, Colin and Ryan get everyone's attention.

“Prize giving time.” Shouts Colin.

“There are a number of categories, so bear with us.” Says Ryan.

“Best costume overall goes to the werewolf, that’s Karen.” Says Colin.

Everyone applauds as Karen comes forward and received a box of chocolates.

“Worst costume goes to Jeff, who came as himself.” Says Ryan.

More applause as Jeff comes forward and received a box of crackers.

“Best make-up goes to the zombie, I mean Mike.” Says Colin.

Applause again, as Mike goes forward and receives a box of chocolates.

“And the prize for first pregnant vampire goes to Lisa.” Says Ryan.

Everyone applauds and looks around, but Lisa does not come forward.

“Lisa.” He shouts again, but she does not appear. In the silence, a shout of pain comes from the ladies room. Colin and Ryan both leap off the stage and run through the crowd, straight into the ladies restroom, shouting “LISA!” as they go.


	5. Chapter 5

They find her doubled over with pain in the doorway to one of the stalls.

“It's ok, we both here.” Says Ryan, as Colin dials 911.

“The babies are coming.” Sobs Lisa, “They’re not going to wait to get to hospital.” Then she screams again.

With panic in their eyes, the men persuade Lisa to get onto the floor properly. Colin is taking instructions from a 911 operator.

He removes her pants and underwear, then says into the phone, “I'd say she’s crowning.” He pauses to listen, then says, “Ok Lisa, they say if you feel the urge, push with the contractions.”

“It hurts.” She cries.

“I know,” Says Ryan, “But the sooner the babies are born, the sooner it'll stop hurting.”

Colin then says into the phone, “Yes, it's twins.” Pause. “No, fraternal.” Pause. “It's either a head, or this baby has a very hairy butt!”

They all sniggers at that, even Lisa. It's not long before the head is fully out.

Colin says into the phone, “The head is out.” Pause. “Ok. Lisa, you need to stop pushing for me. That's right, pant through it.” Colin runs a finger around the baby's neck, then says, “No the cord is clear.” Pause. “Ok. Lisa, with the next contraction, push.”

It’s not long before the rest of the baby is out.

“It's a boy!” Says Colin as the baby starts to cry. The small audience gathered by the restroom door cheers. Colin puts the baby in Lisa's arms, the cord still attached and disappearing inside her. Just then, the small audience backs out and two EMTs make their way in.

“Hi, I’m John. Looks like you've done most of the work for us.” One says to Colin.

Ryan replies, “Not really. There's still the other one.”

The EMTs look confused, so Colin says, “Didn't they tell you it's twins?”

“Um, no. They forgot to mention that part.”

Colin says, “Ok,” into the phone and hands it over to the EMT.

He listens, then says, “Yes. No. Miles, could you hold the phone to my ear for me please?” He then feels around Lisa’s belly, before saying, “Yes, I can feel that bit. No it’s at the top. Ok, thanks for that. Catch you later.”

The phone is then handed back to Colin. John then sends Miles back to the ambulance for more blankets and supplies.

After he has clamped the cord, John asks, “Is the father here?”

Lisa says, “It’s one of those two,” Pointing at Ryan and Colin, “But we don’t know which yet.”

There is a collective shocked gasp from the small audience that has gathered again. As Lisa had just been introduced as, “This is Lisa, she’s living with us now,” most had assumed she was a blood relative of one of them, as they all knew Colin and Ryan were a couple.

John states, “Oh. I was going to ask if the father wanted to cut the cord.”

“If they both want to, they cut a cord each.” Says Lisa, “There will be two babies after all.”

John looks at the two men.

Ryan nods to Colin and says, “You can do the honours, you did all the work.”

So Colin cuts the cord. It’s not long before the afterbirth appears. Miles examines it, then smiles and nods to his colleague. They then package it up.

“Ready for a trip out to the ambulance?” He asks Lisa. “See if we can get the other one born in the hospital.”

Lisa is put on the trolley and wheeled out to the ambulance, still cuddling her newborn boy. Ryan and Colin are both allowed to travel with her in the ambulance.

Just as they close the ambulance doors, Lisa cries out in pain, then says, “Here comes the other one,” As her waters break again.

John hands the baby boy to Ryan, then has a feel of Lisa’s belly. He says, “I’m sorry, this might be uncomfortable.” Then he manipulates the unborn baby through the abdominal wall, turning it through a full 180 degrees. “There, let’s hope he doesn’t flip back again.”

“She.” Corrects Colin, “They said we’d likely have one of each.”

Just then, Lisa cries out in pain again.

“This one’s going to be quick, like her brother I think.” Says John, then he calls through to the front, “Miles, get back here. This one’s not going to wait either.”

Colin and Ryan stand in the open doorway of the ambulance, watching as John and Miles takes care of Lisa. Less than half an hour later, Ryan is passing the baby boy to Colin, so that he can cut the cord. Soon, they are finally on their way to the hospital, with Miles driving, John monitoring Lisa, and Colin and Ryan with a baby each.

Later that night, after all the relevant swabs and samples had been taken for paternity testing, Ryan and Colin are sitting, watching Lisa sleep, with the babies, Emma and Jack, both sleeping peacefully too.

“I think they're definitely yours,” Ryan says to Colin, “Emma has your hair, or lack thereof.”

Colin answers, “You must be right. Neither of them has your huge nose, or your large feet.”

Three days after their dramatic birth, Jack and Emma are on their way home. Ryan is driving, Lisa is attempting to keep the numerous helium filled balloons out of Ryan’s way, and Colin is clutching a brown envelope with Lisa’s name and social number on the front, which the hospital receptionist handed to him on their way out, saying, “I believe these are the paternity results.” They decided to open it at home.

Half an hour later, Lisa is sat on the sofa, breastfeeding Jack, Ryan is cuddling a sleeping Emma, and Colin is still clutching the envelope.

“Just open it already.” Whispers Ryan, frustrated.

“Ok, ok.” Answers Colin quietly. He slits open the envelope, pulls out a sheet of paper, and reads it, “Mother, Wilson, Lisa. Child, Wilson, Jack. Alleged father, Stiles, Ryan. Probability of paternity, zero percent.” He then takes another sheet, “Mother, Wilson, Lisa. Child, Wilson, Jack. Alleged father, Mochrie, Colin. Probability of paternity, ninety nine point nine nine nine percent.” Taking a third sheet, “Mother, Wilson, Lisa. Child, Wilson, Emma. Alleged father, Stiles, Ryan. Probability of paternity, ninety nine point nine nine nine percent.”

They sit in stunned silence for a while.

Then Ryan says, “So she’s mine, but he’s yours? That outcome never even occurred to me.”

Lisa says, “Wow. Just wow. You’re both fathers. I know we all considered you both to be dads, but it’s official, you’re both biological fathers. Wow.”

Colin was still staring at the sheets of paper. Suddenly, he says, “Do either of you mind if I let social media know?”

“I don’t mind,” Says Ryan, “It might mean trouble with journalists for a while though.”

“Doesn’t bother me who knows,” Answers Lisa.

So Colin tweets a photo of Lisa with Jack in one arm wearing blue, and Emma in the other wearing pink, with the comment, “It’s official, Ryan and I are both proud fathers to two lovely babies. Paternity tests state Ryan is dad to Emma, and I’m the father of Jack.”


End file.
